Wednesday, 23 November 2011

How Not to Feel

If feelings are meant to be felt, why do I work so hard to avoid just feeling them?  What do I imagine will happen if I feel them fully?  Will they consume me?  Weaken me?  Define me?  Are there 'good' and 'bad' feelings and I only want to feel the 'good'?

Why do I repress my anger or fly into a fiery rage when both are methods of avoiding simply feeling angry?

Why do I fill my alone time with noise or distraction to avoid the feeling of loneliness?

Why do I rush to bring arousal to an ecstatic conclusion instead of allowing the feeling of desire to exist?

Why do I downplay my accomplishment and success to avoid feeling any sense of self-congratulation?

If I trust anything, it is the present moment, so why can't I give each feeling its due?  Without judgement of good or bad, can I notice anger, loneliness, desire and pleasure in a job well-done without having to avoid, rush to culmination, dismiss or rationalize my way out of it?

Now, in this moment, I feel gratitude.  And hoping that I can make the choice to notice other feelings as they come.  No attachment or aversion.  Only acceptance.    How chill would that be?







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